


Merry X-mass!

by SamanthaM_M



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, Children, Christmas, Crack, F/M, Family, Fluff, This is crack, and for the last time - they are not related, dont take it seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaM_M/pseuds/SamanthaM_M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solo family and Christmas time - what could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry X-mass!

**Author's Note:**

> It’s time for some warm and delightful Christmas crack. Seriously people, I’m surprised no one has thought of this before. Do I have to do everything by myself?

It´s the day before Christmas Eve and yet Solo’s family house doesn’t look festive at all. Untangled Christmas lights are waiting on the porch for some poor soul to deal with them. Turkey is still lying in a fridge, groceries are still unloaded from shopping bags and Christmas tree is somewhere in garage. The rest of the house doesn’t look any more welcoming for Santa Claus. But let’s not skip forward. Let’s look at what caused all this mess in Solo’s family mansion.

***  
When Rey said she was going to leave them for a few days before Christmas, Ben took it heroically and promised to look after kids and house. He even felt brave enough to assure his wife he would prepare everything so that she could relax after coming back home from demanding diplomatic mission. Rey just smiled, beautiful and radiant as usual, and waved them goodbye. As soon as she was gone, Ben smelled the unmistakable odour indicating one (or probably both) of their twins needed a change of diaper. With a sinking stomach he realized maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for his wife to leave him all alone with three little children. 

Things went surprisingly smooth that first evening. Hannah, 4-year old and named after her grandpa, was a calm and good kid – she ate some cereals, brushed her teeth and kissed daddy goodnight on a couch where he passed out after changing, cleaning, feeding and cleaning again both of her siblings. Oliver and Molly were 2 and those were their first Christmas without the help of grandma. Leia decided it was time for well-deserved retirement and so she moved to some distant planet to spend these Christmas all by herself in a luxurious intergalactic spa resort. She didn’t think it was selfish or inconsiderate of her to welcome her daughter-in-law in front of the hotel without inviting her own son too. Now they were sitting in a Jacuzzi, holding glasses of champagne and enjoying the quiet environment. 

“I still have doubts about him. He can’t make it all by himself.”  
“Don’t worry, Rey. He has a lot to learn about what it means to be a parent. Plus, you slave every day to keep your family clean and fed – let him know how it feels.”  
“You’re most likely right,” Rey said after a while and took another sip of that delicious drink. Her mother-in-law was damn right – she needed to take a break. And why not before Christmas? After all, Ben was an adult, sure he could manage his own kids. Let’s face it, we all know she couldn’t be more wrong. 

***

Next day didn’t start so dreamy for Ben. The night he spent on couch reminded him of his aging spine by terrible backache. Twins were crying their throats out and Hannah was already up, sitting on a carpet in front of TV and watching some Huttese cartoons, even though they definitely forbid her to do that. But he couldn’t bring himself to care so he just patted his firstborn on head and walked into the mayhem that used to be their kitchen. Hannah obviously tried to make herself some breakfast, but she couldn’t reach the stuff she needed. The mess of broken plates, spilled milk and some unidentified parts of toys were mixed with toilet paper she used to dry off the milk. The sink was full of dirty dishes and he could vaguely remember telling Rey she didn’t need to worry about it since he thought to would find time to take care about it. He just scratched his head and sighed. It was time for plan B.

It took him only about 3 hours to get all three of his children ready to leave the house and do some Christmas shopping. Ben inwardly berated himself for allowing Rey to leave them without detailed information on how to get the twins dressed without making a mess. What was Hannah’s favourite doll? Where were their gloves? And how the hell he was supposed to tell Oliver’s and Molly’s pacifiers apart? They were the same! By the time they were all ready to leave the house (with great Hannah’s help, for which Ben decided to buy her loads of sweets if she did not tell her mom) he felt like crying. Hannah probably recognized it, because she held his hand tightly all the way through the mall (with twins still screaming loudly, but he realized there was nothing he could do about it without Rey). 

“Don’t worry, dad. Olli and Molly will stop crying when they get tired. They eventually always do,” she told him with a big smile. Little did she know her father felt like collapsing right there or alternatively running and hiding in an aisle with alcoholic beverages. And they weren’t even finished with shopping – they still needed the tree. 

***

On the third day Ben wondered how it was possible that the twins were still alive and the house not on fire, given that he found energy only to do the most basic stuff like feeding the two younger ones and checking if his older daughter wasn’t gravely injured or kidnapped. He started his day with stepping on a piece of Lego and cursing the entire galaxy which resulted in Hannah running around happily and shouting “daddy said a bad word, daddy said a bad word” and twins crying once more. He made her breakfast – scrambled eggs with bacon, even though he wasn’t so sure if four-year-olds could eat bacon and then moved on to feeding, changing and feeding the twins again. In the meantime he allowed Hannah to watch however much TV she liked. She could have been watching old imperial horrors for all he cared. He didn’t even muster up enough strength to tell her to change out of her pyjamas. They had pizza for lunch and he reminded himself to make a mental note that Molly was probably allergic to pepperoni, because after eating a single piece of it she threw up all over herself and her brother. Which meant more cleaning, changing and cleaning. When Hannah asked if she could have Nuttela with ice-cream for dinner, he said yes without even thinking about it twice. Ben was praying for his wife’s return as he secretly opened a bottle of whisky in the evening after the kids finally fell asleep (Hannah was sleeping in their master bedroom because she said she missed mom and he let her and settled for the couch again so that he could drink in peace). 

***

Rey returns the next day, late in the evening. She silently opens the door, cautious not to wake anyone up. She’s carrying bags full of Christmas presents and she’s impatient to see her family. She’s only been gone for four days but it feels like eternity. She had great time and is relaxed but she wishes to be with her beloved ones again. She sets her luggage in a hallway and walks upstairs to check on her children first. She is satisfied to find them in their beds, sleeping serenely. She notices Hannah sleeps with a blaster instead one of her teddy bears, but she´s not too shocked – after all, her oldest daughter takes after her grandfather a lot. Then she walks into the kitchen, only to find it in a state of complete and utter chaos. There is food, dirty dishes and toys everywhere and is that a diaper under the table? She goes on to the living room to seek her husband and there he is – asleep on the couch, hugging an empty bottle with much resemblance to the way his daughter held that blaster. She twists the bottle out of his embrace and wakes him up. His eyes are red, there are blue bags under them and he looks beaten. In the last second Rey holds the laughter that’s bubbling inside her and hugs him. Ben presses his head to her breasts and sighs silently.  
“I’m glad you’re home, darling. Promise me not to leave us alone ever again.”  
“I promise,” she replies and then she kisses him and takes him to their bedroom, because she believes he deserves to take a little break too.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay people, I know this is the biggest Christmas cliché plot of them all, but its sooo funny and I had so much fun writing it. I can totally see them in this situation!


End file.
